


Just You and I

by littlewonder



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 02:10:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16986159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlewonder/pseuds/littlewonder
Summary: How things should've gone at Angelo's.





	Just You and I

**Author's Note:**

> [Originally posted to tumblr](https://isitanylittlewonder.tumblr.com/post/159052740974/so-do-you-have-a-boyfriend-realisation-dawned)

“So do you have a boyfriend?”

Realisation dawned on Sherlock’s face. He narrowed his eyes at John.

“Which is fine, by the way.”

I know it’s fine, Sherlock thought automatically, but he had to clamp down on that thought. Memories flashed through his mind, spanning his whole life, and he knew he didn’t believe it. When had it ever been fine?

“Is it?” said Sherlock.

John looked at him, eyes shining. He slid his hand across the table, as though he planned to take Sherlock’s hand, but stopped just short of it.

“Yeah, of course it is.”

“Is that your experience?” asked Sherlock.

John pulled his hand slightly back, but still held it there between them. Like he still wanted to reach out.

“People can be cruel,” said John. “Yeah, I get that. But whatever you decide to do… whoever you decide to be with… it’s not for them. It’s just for – you. You and your partner. It’s nobody else’s business what you do.”

Sherlock covered his hand with his own. He squeezed, looking into John’s eyes. No matter what, he just didn’t seem to have the heart for his usual ‘married to my work’ speech, not this time. And he had to admit John tempted him…

He pulled his hand back. “I’m not sure.”

“That’s okay. We can take it slow, see how we go.”

John didn’t seem to understand. Didn’t he see that Sherlock was a freak, not boyfriend material, not someone anyone should want to date? Didn’t he see he was completely unavailable?

No, of course he didn’t. Sherlock could feel himself staring with fond, vulnerable eyes. He commanded his body to stop it. All his body was able to do was look away.

“No, I mean… I’m not ready to date. Not yet.”

“Oh, okay.” Sherlock could see the question written in John’s eyes: who was he? But there was no he, there was never any he. Ordinary people never seemed to grasp that. Why did there need to be another he? Another anyone? Why couldn’t he just not be ready?

“Good,” said Sherlock. His eyes finally found the window again. Although nothing seemed to have changed outside, he hoped he hadn’t missed his suspect, he hoped he hadn’t just driven by while John was here to distract him.

This is why he always worked alone. He couldn’t afford distractions: the work was too important.


End file.
